Politics is perhaps the only profession for which no preparation is thought necessary - Robert Louis Stevenson.

The years pass us by and nothing seems to change. We are continuously assailed by the same politicians haranguing us for our votes in order to allow them to do exactly the same things that their opponents in government do; they will try to persuade us by using meaningless slogans without ever presenting any specific details regarding their wonderful aims for the country. Nou pou conbat corription, nou pou aret gaspiyaz, nou pou mars ar le pep, nou pa pou lesse zot saper, etc remain the inane rallying cries of every opposition party since the seventies; and robotic repetition of the same boring mantras has not diminished our angry perception that in the final analysis all the major political partiesare padlocked to the heavy and destructive chains of sectarianism which makes looking after their narrow band of selfish marauders of the national coffers their main priority.

We are in the process of creating an idiot culture, where lack of information, disinformation, and quite often contempt for the truth seems to have overrun our media. The weird, the stupid, and the coarse are becoming our cultural norm and for many have turned into a cultural ideal. Why else would so many people spend a fortune to wait for hours for an arrogant idiot called Sean Paul to turn up and make some weird noise that some people call music and then behave as if he is doing them a favour? Why does the press entertain anything said by Madun Dulloo against the government, when for the last three years his enemies for the last fortnight were his comrade in arms and the huge amounts of per diem he obtained for countless, useless missions made him feel very comfortable? Such a principled man had no problem grabbing the latest brand new limousine that is apparently on offer to any presumptuous idiot who does not feel duty bound to adopt the principles of ser sintir advocated in such a cavalier and hypocritical manner by the Minister of Finance.

This idiot culture is now so endemic that any action that does not conform to the grabbing, self serving, fill-your-pockets environment is ignored or at best merits a couple of lines only in one newspaper. There cannot be many people who would condone the immoral purchase of new limousines for our ministers when there was apparently nothing wrong with the ones they were using. It was an obscene waste of public funds and totally incongruous with the constant message that the country remains severely in debt and that we need to be very careful with the way we spend public money. One minister however stands out for refusing to join the indecent queue frothing at the mouth at luxury cars showrooms in febrile anticipation of the sensation of old, saggy bums touching the new leather seats. Very few of us know the identity of that minister. Why? Because hardly any newspaper mentioned the fact that it was Rama Valayden. Yes, the 'voyou politique', as that paragon of virtue Paul Berenger likes to call him. By the way, has anyone noticed that the criticism from the main opposition parties regarding these limousines has been almost non existent? But then how can you condemn something that you yourself are hankering for should you win power at the next elections?

The list really is endless. Ramgoolam promised with apparent sincerity on 1st May 2005 that "un membre de la Fédération des syndicats du service civil asiz dan PSC pou kapav kone ki pe arive laba;" He would also institute an appeal tribunal to quickly resolve allegations of discrimination: "Mo na pa pou less dimounn atann 4 an", he intoned forcefully, and emphasised the point by saying that "Pas de politique de petits copains dans les organismes parapublics…pou aret gaspillaz fonds piblic..Moris ene ban pei pli coronpi dan le monde". I shall leave the readers to decide whether the policy of ti copins has been abandoned, whether the government no longer wastes public money, and whether the genuine battle against corruption has even started. He also reminded his audience that "Pei la inn devir enba lao", a refrain dutifully parroted by the current opposition in a pathetic display of verbal and intellectual deficit.

On the same day, Berenger gave us his revolutionary winning formula which basically meant that two average individuals with pretensions way beyond their abilities would share the prime ministerial post over the next five years. It is really sad that this nonsense has now become an obsession with him, and it is gratifying to see that Vishnu Lutchmeenaraidoo has taken the initiative by injecting some honesty in that futile debate and told us that Berenger will be the next Prime Minister should the MMM win the next elections. Berenger has every right to aim for the highest post in the land and one can only hope that the cold hands of communalism will not strangle the democratic birth right of anyone irrespective of race, class, or gender to lead his party to power.

Berenger also promised at
that meeting that for the first time ever a woman would be appointed President of the Republic in 2008, a promise that appears to have been consigned to the dustbin as we have not heard another word about it since. He then accused Bachoo of being a vendeur professionel, a description he is working hard to validate as his efforts to get Bachoo to change sides yet again would appear to suggest…

It really is quite striking the similarities in the speeches of politicians when in opposition and then in government. The forthcoming May 1st meetings will see Berenger using exactly the same themes and expressions that Ramgoolam used in 2005, i.e corruption, nepotism, ti copins, pei enba lao, (although now apparently, in a remarkable display of imagination, pei lor dife...) law and order, cost of living, inefficiency of the government. And Ramgoolam will use the same themes that Berenger did in 2005, that his government is made up of competent ministers (please don't laugh), that the economy was a mess when he took over, how he has remet pei lor rails,and not to let the other lot win power as they will destroy everything that has been achieved so far.

Most of us know that this is exactly what will happen at those meetings, so why do our journalists insist on treating them as earth shattering events? Out of a population of over 1.2 million inhabitants, a maximum of 30,000 people will attend these meetings and yet we will still be subjected to the farcical game of who had the greatest number of supporters. Who cares really? I can only hope that this time Valayden will not go round counting the number of cigarette stubs as proof of the exact attendance figures…

Wouldn't it be really wonderful if every time a politician says something during the meeting the whole crowd would answer back? For example, whenever Berenger shouts that he will aret gaspillaz fonds piblic, the crowd would shout out couma? to pou aret sa ban missions la? to pou aret asseter limousines? To pou reduire per diems et diman reci pou sac depans? to pou reduire la paye to ban advisers et chairmen/direkters? To pou reduire sa larmee anbassaders et soi disan trade advisers?

And when Ramgoolam says with well rehearsed sincerity that nou bizin ser sintir, the crowd would simply laugh for a good five minutes and point to Sylvio Tang's midriff as evidence of the physical impossibility of translating that policy into practice.

Perhaps it may be useful to use direct methods against these politicians in order to emphasise our precarious situation regarding food supplies. A few well aimed tomatoes may remind them that the whole world is facing its worst food crisis in a generation; Robert Zoellick, president of the World Bank, said this week that prices of all staple food had risen 80% in three years, and that 33 countries faced unrest because of the price rises.There have been protests in Guinea, Egypt, Morocco, Uzbekistan, Yemen, Burkina Faso, Mauritania, Niger, Uzbekistan, Senegal, Haiti, Bolivia and Indonesia. In the last two months Vietnam, Cambodia, Egypt, India, the Philippines and Thailand have stopped crop exports or raised prices to more than $1,200 a tonne to discourage exports. In the Philippines, a moratorium is being considered on converting agricultural land for building housing or golf courses. What are we doing in Paradise Island? The exact opposite. We are converting prime agricultural lands into new residential and industrial cities, and our import bill for many of the things that we could grow ourselves is getting bigger all the time. The short sightedness of this policy is really breathtaking. I don't wish to alarm people, but soon we will no longer complain about the rise in food prices as we will be out of breath trying to find the items first, as very few countries will be exporting food stuff.

But who cares about all that really? We are constantly fed a diet of cheap, puerile propaganda by the MBC that all is best in the best of all possible worlds; the opposition keeps on playing the same old tapes without giving us any hope that they will indeed provide genuine sanzman if we vote for them. And the parasites are still eroding the fragile financial structure of this country by being offered stupendous salaries and expenses by their equally stupid and selfish political masters.

Never mind. We can look forward to another visit by Sean Paul or some DJs who cannot see a record without messing around with it frantically in order to provide us with something they think is original. Apparently, it is called 'remixing', presumably because the end product sounds very much like an old food mixer working desperately to fulfil the function it performed admirably in its pristine condition.

Much like our political parties really. Remixing old slogans that mean nothing will invariably end up with a final product that is as insipid as its original version.

Inconvenient facts will always be ignored as long as we continue to have amateur politicians whose main qualification happens to be the caste or community he/she belongs to, and whose only motivation in politics is to further the interests of that community to the detriment of the nation.

R.A.J.
Email: servipei@yahoo.com